Quash Fear-Based Decisions to Overcome Your Fear of Fear.

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BY JENNIFER SIVLERMAN

When was the last time you pondered the presence of fear in your life?

Most of us tend to consciously contemplate fear only when we’re face to face with its threatening visage or likely to endure a frightening encounter.

After all, with all the pleasant thoughts we could mull over instead, why readily confront fear if we can avoid it?

(Personally, I’d much rather devote elective reflection to daydreaming about shoes. Or lunch.)

Unfortunately, our thoughts on an average day are typically consumed by fears whether we acknowledge them or not.

We ruminate endlessly about a near miss with a speeding car and thus, the hypothetical ambulance ride and exorbitant cost of automotive repairs.

We read about a home burglary and spend two weeks anxiously waiting for the bad guys to invade our domicile and steal our stilettos.

We respond too hastily during a sensitive conversation, and fret that we’ve insulted an acquaintance or hurt a friend.

Many of us associate fear with society’s most common phobias like creepy crawlies, things that slither, small spaces, tall structures, fine facial lines, or the dreaded bad hair day.

But what about the stuff of life-altering scares like failure, lack of fulfillment, rejection, and loss?

These fear doozies often prevent us from taking risks, shooting for the stars, and heeding the little voices in our noggins. So, they may be directly responsible for the disappointments we endure. 

What if, instead of allowing our fear-inspired paranoia to consistently hasten our momentum and monopolize our thoughts, we turn our perception of fear on its head and cast it in an entirely new role?

Divorce coach extraordinaire, Meagan Norris inspired me to tackle the task of overcoming fears by giving fear based decisions the boot.

My big aha moment emerged when she pointed out that fear is inevitable and unavoidable.

If fear and its repercussions are nothing new and are here to stay, what’s all the fuss about?

Whatever potential worst case scenario is lurking in our unknown futures, we’ve already been there done that. And, despite our best efforts, pesky outcomes like embarrassment and failure are facts of life.

So, if we make like superheroes and whisk ourselves away from our fears by not taking chances, have we really evaded any heartache?

Sure, we get to don the cape, but if the metaphorical villain is coming round the bend eventually, what’s so terrible about risking a run in here and now rather than caving to fear and putting it off?

The poltergeists of the bad things we fear will haunt us again; What do we actually have to lose by confronting them?

We fear failure, but we’ve failed before and will fail again.

We fear criticism, but we’ve likely experienced negative feedback previously, and will face bad critiques in the future.

We fear embarrassment, but most of us are embarrassed on the regular - whether we trip over our own feet, misuse a word, or laugh at inappropriate times.

When we consider that we’ve grappled with the fear doozies before, lived to tell the tale, and will certainly square off with them again, they don’t seem all that formidable, right?

Plus, our fears surely do not constitute a worthwhile sacrifice for our hopes and dreams.

So, today I’m feeling way less fearful – except of course, of creepy crawlies. What can I say? Bergdorf Goodman wasn’t built in a day.    

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*Side Note!* You have my word that I am not a compensated endorser of any kind, but I do sincerely, highly recommend divorce coach, Meagan Norris. She truly helped me a great deal during my divorce saga. If you’re interested in learning more about Meagan and her services, click here.