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    Looking to be More Mindful? Start Counting Spoons.

    • Writer: The Curious Columnist
      The Curious Columnist
    • Apr 10
    • 4 min read

    This post is the intellectual property of Jennifer Silverman. Posts, columns, and articles, etc. may only be reprinted with the express written consent of the author. The author’s byline, bio, and copyright notice must be retained in their entirety. Please click here to refer to blog disclaimers. Or, if you wish to reprint or feature a post, please click here to complete the contact form. A version of this piece was published in Florida's oldest weekly newspaper, The News Leader.


    BY JENNIFER SILVERMAN


    Retro image of bowler sporting icky bowling shoes at bowling alley – a reminder to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes to embrace empathy. It’s worth it - even in shoes that are not aesthetically pleasing.

    As a tween, the popular expression, “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” always made me cringe.


    My imagination conjured up scenes of trotting down dusty dirt roads to nowhere in icky bowling shoes.


    In my adolescent, literal interpretation, bowling shoes were likely the most unappealing shoes I could conceive of.


    They’re not aesthetically pleasing. They’re uncomfortable. And the very idea of them feels skeevy. I’m not sure why I didn’t opt to instead envision marching a mile in stilettos on a fabulous Parisian runway.


    As far as I can tell, colorful yet tangible phrases like these tend to convey a message within an image that somehow rings true. Plus, our imaginations have a will all their own.  


    A shiny silver tone spoon on a graphic, striking, high contrast blue and orange background to illustrate the impact of The Spoon Theory.

    My youthful bowling shoe imagery may seem totally random, but somehow, it accurately illustrates the point of the proverb.


    Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes is uncomfortable - and foreign. It compels us to experience the world according to someone else’s reality and enables us to broaden our perspectives to become more empathetic.     


    I recently discovered another metaphor of sorts that likewise renders distinct experiences way more relatable. Plus, it inspires us to be more mindful to boot.


    The Spoon Theory was developed on the fly in 2003 by a writer who suffered from the autoimmune disease, lupus.


    Christine Miserandino was sharing a plate of disco fries with her bestie. (That’s diner lingo for crispy, hot french fries topped with rich gravy, and often melted gooey cheese...they're a personal fave. I digress.)


    An exhausted millennial woman, depleted of energy, resting her head on a stark white table surrounded by dozens of reflective spoons.

    She hatched The Spoon Theory when her BFF inquired what living with lupus actually felt like.


    Inspired by her surroundings, she grabbed handfuls of spoons from nearby tables and went on to explain that each of us is only allotted so many spoons on any given day.


    Those with chronic illnesses or disabilities have access to far fewer spoons, or bursts of energy, to support their activities. So, they are forced to earmark their spoons accordingly.


    Miserandino explained that tasks that many of us take for granted, like getting out of bed or bathing, may alone deplete one’s available spoons.


    Her theory emphasizes that none of us can dictate how much energy we have access to or when it will replenish.


    It doesn’t accrue like vacation days, and returning partially used spoons violates life’s return policy – there are no returns. No exchanges. No refunds.


    Although this ingenious analogy was intended to enable individuals who don’t face significant physical hardships to understand the plight of those who do, it also delivers wisdom on other fronts.

    Little girl in pink reaches for vibrant, blooming cherry blossoms on a bright Spring Day, holding a plush toy and appreciating all that life has to offer with childlike awe and gratitude.

    If all of us are only able to get our hands on so many spoons each day, are we utilizing our precious spoons to the fullest over our lifetimes?


    Do we elect to devote our spoons to positive or negative thoughts and actions?


    Would we rather dedicate our spoons to endeavors we’re passionate about, or those in which we’re pressured to pursue?


    How often do we appreciate our spoons, and close our eyes at night knowing we made good use of them?


    In the days since I learned about The Spoon Theory, I’ve realized that I regularly burn through stacks of spoons with unproductive overthinking.


    With this new awareness, I am moving on more swiftly, spending more time living in the present, and applying my surplus spoons to worthwhile pursuits.


    Woman in activewear sits cross-legged in a contemplative, meditation pose. She is learning how to be more mindful and how to be more present by embracing the concept of The Spoon Theory.

    Seeing our energy and resources as spoons can empower us to reframe decisions and actions while also rendering us far more mindful - to better allocate our time and appreciate the time we have.


    Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes is no easy feat. But an arsenal of spoons at the ready just might prompt us to choose wisely and be the people we want to be.


    I don’t know about you, but I doubt I’ll ever again see spoons as mere utensils.


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